AAFES - Army/Air Force Exchange System. The PX (post exchange) for Army and BX (base exchange) for Air Force. An interservice system that provides goods and services to the military. Like a department store to civilians.
Airborne - Jumping out of an Air Farce airplane with a parachute on your back. Very cool to do and considered the lowest rung of the hard-core personnel in the Army and the separation between the hard-core of the Army and the losers/n'er-do-wells.
AO - Area of Operations.
Article 15 - Official punishment under the UCMJ. Participants can earn up to a loss of 2/3 pay, confinement to quarters and extra duty every night for 60 days.
Battle Rattle - Full field gear worn, including helmet, weapon, webgear, protective mask, and sometimes a flak jacket. I had never heard this phrase until after the Gulf War but I find it so descriptive.
BDUs - Battle Dress Uniform, the camouflage uniform.
Bravo Charley eyeglasses - Ugly Army issued prescription glasses. Bravo Charley stands for birth control, 'cause if you're wearing these, you look so ugly you for sure ain't getting any.
Burned, getting. Getting busted by Article 15 or other punishment.
Cattle car - a semi-truck looking vehicle that has benches and plenty of subway style poles for recruits to hold on to. We used to be so crammed into these things that we would occasionally moo, to the amusement of the drill sergeants.
Chickenshit - Synonym for Mickey Mouse.
CIB - Combat Infantryman's Badge. An award for Infantrymen who have been in a shooting war.
CID - Criminal Investigation Division. Akin to civilian police detectives. Not to be messed with.
Clerks and Jerks - non combat arms, i.e., "lean, mean, typing machines." They're considered an anus by the combat arms troops, one has to have one, but one might not like it very much.
Class-A uniform - The Army dress uniform comprising black (those had better be spitshined!) Low quarter dress shoes, black socks, medium green trousers, light green dress shirt, black tie, jacket, complete with ribbons and qualification badges, topped with a garrison cap.
CQ - Charge of Quarters. Someone has to be in charge of a company when officers are not present - like at night and weekends - so a sergeant has duty overnight to handle any problems that come up. He also usually has a junior enlisted soldier with him who acts as a runner. One nice tradeoff is that once the 24 hours are up, one has the rest of the day off.
Deuce - Short for an Army 2 ½ ton truck.
DS - Drill Sergeant.
E-4 - Specialist 4th Class. See Specialist.
Executive Officer - The second in command of an Army unit. Also called XO.
First call - Army talk for wake up call.
First Sergeant - The senior sergeant in an Army company.
Flak Jacket - a sleeveless green vest that is designed to stop flak, or shrapnel from entering the body rather than being bullet proof. Historically, 70 percent of injuries on the battlefield are due to shrapnel from artillery shells. Most Army recruits are surprised to learn that the filler to the flak jacket is ballistic nylon rather than kevlar, a bullet stopping material.
FNG - fucking new guy
Front-leaning rest - Armyese for pushup.
FTA - Fuck the Army. Usually seen written on latrine walls.
Getting over - Not only shamming, but being allowed to do it!
Hard-core. An action, person or attitude that denotes superior toughness, especially in the prescribed Army way.
Humvee - The replacement for the old jeep. Humvees are cool.
Kaserne - German for a duty station or a post as we would say in the American Army.
Leg - The lowest of the low in the Army. Non Airborne qualified personnel.
LTD - Little Tubby Dude. Fat boys in the Army.
Lt. - Slang for Lieutenant. Pronounced "eltee". See Lieutenant (second).
Lieutenant (second) - The lowest rank for an officer. The 2nd lieutenant has usually minimal time in the Army and has no experience to speak of. Despite this, Lieutenants command a platoon of about 20 or so enlisted men, with the assistance of a Platoon Sergeant. Ironically, the Platoon Sergeant usually 10 or more years experience in the Army, has a war or two under his belt, and been to far more training schools than the 2nd Lt. will have gone to.
MEPS - Military something something something. A regional station where physicals and paperwork is done to idiots who ignore advice from their betters and insist on enlisting in the military.
MOS - Military Occupational Skill. Your job.
M-16 - The basic rifle used by the U. S. military since during the Vietnam War.
M-203 - A grenade launcher that fits below the barrel of an M-16. Very fun to shoot but considered heavy.
MFIC - Motherfucker in charge.
MRE - The Army calls these field rations Meals Ready to Eat, though Meals Rejected by Ethiopians or Meals Rejected by Everybody were more appropriate.
NCO - Non Commissioned Officer. From the rank of Corporal and above.
Platoon Sergeant - The senior sergeant in a platoon. So far as the junior enlisted are concerned, this NCO is GOD!
OPFOR - OPposing FORces. The bad guys in a field exercise.
Poncho Liner - A lightweight nylon blanket in camouflage colors.
Protective Mask - Gas mask.
Private Snuffy - John Doe when he enlists. Also Spec. 4 Snuffy.
PT - Physical Training.
REFORGER - REturn FORces to GERmany. A yearly NATO exercise where stateside US military units fly to Germany and marry up with their propositioned equipment then conduct an enormous field exercise. The Third Armored Division traditionally plays the role of OPFOR.
REMF - Rear Echelon Mother Fucker. These bastards are not combat arms, but are instead lean, mean, typing machines who stay in the rear where it's safe.
Sergeant - An NCO who is not a corporal. Not someone to be trifled with.
SFC - Sergeant First Class. One of the most respected ranks in the Army.
Shamming - Goofing off. See getting over.
SOL - Shit out of luck.
Stand-to - When soldiers must be up, dressed and ready to rock and roll at the first hint of trouble. Always done predawn.
TOW - Tube Launched, Optically tracked, Wire guided antitank missile.
UCMJ - Uniform Code of Military Justice. The military's law and much more stringent than civilian law. Thank goodness the charge of Silent Insolence was dropped back in the 1950s, otherwise, I'd have been under charges nearly my entire career!
Web Gear - The pistol belt and suspenders that the Army hangs canteens, ammunition, compasses, first aid kits, binoculars, etc.. around your waist. The design hasn't changed much in over 100 years.
Word, The - The official deal, be it what's for dinner or where/when we would go to war. All soldiers like "the word" because we like to know what's going to happen to us.
Appendix A
The organizational breakdown of the Army Infantry (11Bravo) is as follows (keeping in mind the numbers change from time to time):
A fire team has five or six soldiers.
A squad has two fire teams.
A platoon has three or four squads.
A company has three platoons and one headquarters platoon comprised of clerks and jerks.
A battalion has four companies (called line companies, Alpha through Delta), one antiarmor company (Echo Company), and one headquarters company comprised of clerks, jerks, and spoon REMFs.
A brigade has three battalions, one headquarters company, and possibly some MP and ancillary units attached to it.
A division has three maneuver brigades (see above), a helicopter battalion, and a support brigade full of clerks and jerks.
A corps has anywhere from two to five divisions and lots of support pukes.
Echo Companys are organized slightly differently:
One crew of four assigned to one M-901 (one track)
Two tracks to a section
Three sections to one platoon
Three platoons and one headquarters platoon to a company.
Rank Structure
The rank structure in the Army is as follows:
Enlisted
E-1 - Private E-1, sometimes called slicksleeves for there is no rank symbol for this poor soldier.
E-2 - Private E-2, sometimes called mosquito wings after the single chevron of his rank
E-3 - Private First Class (PFC) also known as Proud Fucking Civilian.
E-4 - Specialist Fourth Class. The nickname sometimes heard for this rank is special lips. The spec. Four is one of the best ranks of the Army and is the senior rank among the junior (non NCO) enlisted.
Corporal - Corporals are E-4s, just like specialists, but they are junior NCOs and are much hated and reviled in the Army, mostly because they get caught between their lower ranking buddies and the NCOs, who are attempting to train the corporals on how to be NCOs.
E-5 - or also known as buck sergeant, is the lowest ranking sergeant.
E-6 - Staff sergeant. Sometimes called "staff" for short.
E-7 - Sergeant first class, also platoon sergeant. Most NCOs never make it to SFC which is too bad because they command enormous respect.
E-8 - Master sergeant or first sergeant, depending on if an E-8 is the senior NCO in a company or not.
E-9 - Command sergeant major or simply sergeant major. A CSM is the senior NCO in a battalion or higher unit, while a SM is simply a CSM without having the command responsibility.
Warrant officers
W-1
W-2
W-3
W-4 - The warrant officers are nearly without exception former enlisted soldiers and know the Army inside and out. They are experts in their field and occupy a never-never land between enlisted and officers. Their pay mirrors that of second lieutenant through major. They get saluted but are called "mister" rather than sir. The few warrants I knew were awesome and great guys - I respected them immensely. Also, nobody but nobody, messed with the warrants.
Officers
O-1 - Second lieutenant. Also called shave tail, second looie, and butter bar, after the brown bar they wear on their collar. The average second lieutenant is like a brand new private - brainless, clueless but drunk with his own power. They are notorious for not being able to read a map and are maniacs for getting saluted by the enlisted. 2LTs are most often in charge of a platoon.
O-2 - First lieutenant. Often called First johns, they have more experience in the Army and are often more loose and casual than the butter bars. They are also often in charge of a platoon but can also be the executive officer of a company.
O-3 - Captain. Also called Railroad tracks, after the two parallel bars of their rank. Captains are most often in charge of a company. To this point, the officers are called company grade officers. O-4 - Major. Majors are most often battalion Xos and play the heavy in a battalion. Most of the ones I knew in that role were always scowling and barking at the poor troops caught in their line of fire. From major to colonel, this band of officers are called field grade officers.
O-5 - Lieutenant Colonel or plain colonel for short. These guys are most often in charge of a battalion
O-6 - Colonel. This class of officers are really moving out for the average officer will retire a lieutenant colonel. These guys all walk on eggshells so they can make it to general, no easy task.
Generals
O-7 - Brigadier General or one star general. BGs are often division XOs.
0-8 - Major General or two star general. MGs are often division commanders.
O-9 - Lieutenant General or three star general. LTGs are often corps commanders.
O-10 - General. These generals are often Army commanders or even a chief of staff, which is the highest Army officer in the Army, of which there is only one.
Generals are not to be trifled with! I've only seen a few while I was in the Army and I made sure I didn't do anything to stand out of the crowd!!! The easy way to remember how the general ranks work is to remember "Be My Little General" or Brigadier (general), Major (general), Lieutenant (general) and general.
Appendix B - my English Class Essay
Here is a copy of the essay I wrote for the English class I took in active duty. This is the first time I achieved a breakthrough in writing. Keep in mind it's still not great writing.
Ambush?
Echo Company has been on this field problem for five days now. As platoons we had been running patrols, rescue missions, ambushed and raids. As we were doing this in November, we were cold, tired, dirty and just a little upset.
My platoon's LT., Lieutenant Capparelli, woke up my platoon at two in the morning and we had quick operations order. "Not another ambush," we groaned, the last one fresh in our minds. However, it didn't bother us too much because the LT. was a pretty casual guy; so much so, as a matter of fact, that platoon had decided long ago not to blow him away if we ever saw combat. He also wore a Ranger tab, so we knew that he knew a lot about light infantry tactics.
We gathered our rucksacks, put fresh camouflage on our hands and faces, and checked our weapons. We moved out in Ranger file at 0300 hours.
After ninety agonizing, silent, sweaty minutes of stumbling through a thick forest still damp with rain, in the dark, we arrived at a point near our ambush site. When the leaders had finished reconning the area, they came back to us and placed us in the exact spot they wanted each man to be in.
We then started to subtly camouflaged ourselves in. I found some branches and after digging an eight in deep hole I (kind of) laid the branches in front of my fighting position. I hoped it all looked naturel. Before getting into the prone, I pulled on a sweater to keep warm and put on my wet weather top because it was still drizzling. We were in the treeline on a small knoll with a road fifty meters to our front. This was the kill zone. As usual, the LT., had chosen us a pretty good site. Luckily for us, the hill top provided some good drainage, for it had been raining for a few days. The forest was quiet, dark and dank. The trees stood like silent sentinels, tall and forbidding. In the distance I could hear a stream babbling, and above that, the noise of a firefight breaking out, the sound rising to a crescendo, then falling off to nothingness. Just before zoning out, I spotted the LT. A few feet away, his eyes already closed.
I awoke with a start. It was about 0500 hrs. And a hint of dawn touched the sky. A jeep was stopped in the road; directly in our kill zone! I glanced out of the corner of my eye; the platoon was starting to wake up. A man stepped out of the passenger side of the jeep, a .45 swinging from his hip.
He peered around, stared at us for around 10 seconds then started to walk in our direction. As he came closer, I recognized him as the battalion commander. "He's probably seen us asleep and will raise hell", I thought. By this time, everyone was awake and watching. He walked right up to Lt. Capparelli and looked around. Nobody moved a muscle. Then the BC opened his fly and urinated all over the Lieutenant! To his credit, the LT. never said a word. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing aloud, and I suspect everyone else was doing the same. Luckily the BC wasn't long and as we watched him drive away we laughed so hard that the "enemy" had no trouble finding us, a half hour later.
Appendix C - Army cadences
We first learned Army cadences in basic training. These are songs, normally call and response, that help pass the time and keep us in step with everyone else. The sergeant or person leading the formation, whether marching or running, calls a line or two, then the formation repeats it. I still sometimes repeat cadence in my head while running or walking.
"Jody" and its variations are so popular, going back to at least the Second World War, that cadences are often called "Jodies." Many cadences, like "Mama, Mama," follow the simple "Jody" rhythm, and all can be used as both running and marching cadences.
Ain't no use in lookin' back,
Jody's got your Cadillac.
Ain't no use in lookin' back,
Jody's got your Cadillac.
Ain't no use in lookin' blue,
Jody's got your girlfriend, too.
Ain't no use in lookin' blue,
Jody's got your girlfriend, too.
Ain't no use in feeling sad,
Jody's got the job you had.
Ain't no use in feeling sad,
Jody's got the job you had.
I never heard this one since graduating from basic training, but it's a good one.
Hey, hey Captain Jack
Meet me down by the railroad shack,
With that switchblade in your hand,
I'm gonna be a cuttin' man,
The best I can,
All night long.
Chorus
So re-up, you're crazy,
Re-up, you're lazy.
Who says you're lazy?
I say you're crazy!
Hey, hey Captain Jack
Meet me down by the railroad shack,
With that bottle in your hand,
I'm gonna be a drinkin' man,
The best I can,
All night long.
Chorus
Hey, hey Captain Jack
Meet me down by the railroad shack,
With that rifle in your hand,
I'm gonna be a shootin' man,
The best I can,
All night long.
Chorus
Hey, hey Captain Jack
Meet me down by the railroad shack,
With that woman in your hand,
I'm gonna be a lovin' man,
The best I can,
All night long.
Variations of this running cadence abound. Lyrics are easily mixed and matched, or created on the spot.
Variation One
I wanna be an Airborne Ranger,
Live the life of sex and danger,
I wanna go to Vietnam,
I wanna kill some Charlie Cong.
Variation Two
I wanna be an Airborne Ranger,
Live the life of sex (or death) and danger,
I wanna go to Vietnam,
Kill some commies for my mom.
Variation Three
I wanna be an Airborne Ranger,
I wanna live a life of danger,
I wanna die in the old drop zone,
Box me up and ship me home.
Variation Four
I wanna be a Chairborne Ranger,
Live the life of paper and danger.
Variation Five
I wanna be a Chairborne Ranger,
Live the life of paper pushin' danger,
Keep me out of the drop zone,
I just wanna go back home.
C-130
C-130 rollin' down the strip,
Airborne daddy gonna take a little trip.
Mission top secret, destination unknown,
Don't really care if I ever come home.
Stand-up, hook-up, shuffle to the door,
Jump right out and count to four.
If my main don't open wide,
I've got a reserve by my side.
If that one should fail me too,
Look out below, I'm comin' through.
Don't leave me in the old drop zone,
Box me up and ship me home.
Tell my girl I done my best,
Pin my wings upon my chest.
The marchers are required to know the song, for while the cadence caller must only call the prompts, the marchers must reply with the lyrics in italics. Another variation of this marching cadence changes the word "fishin'" to "catfish."
Many Army traditions and practices, such as the large, greasy country breakfasts the mess halls serve up daily, have an unmistakable Southern flair. This is only supposition, but call-and-reply work songs are known to have been a way black slaves and later black field workers in the South kept their minds off the endless drudgery of field work (as well as a way of throwing a few subtle jabs at those who kept them there.) Perhaps that is where we can find the origins of this type of marching song.
You get a line and I'll get a pole,
Honey, Honey,
You get a line and I'll get a pole,
Ba-abe, Ba-abe,
You get a line and I'll get a pole,
And we'll go down to the catfish hole,
Honey, oh ple-ease be mine.
Go to your left, your right, your left,
Go to your left, your right, your left,
Hey!
Before I found this particular cadence on a website, I had never heard it before, but I knew its type. I thought I would include it so as to give a sense of some cadences that are out there. Despite its title, this is not a "feel good" marching cadence. I imagine songs like this would help reinforce the negative image of veterans as psycho postal workers waiting to happen, should it ever get out to the public. Oh, wait...
Left, right, oh left, right, oh left, right, KILL!
Left, right, oh left, right, oh left, right, KILL!
Burn the town and kill the people,
you'll feel better when you do.
Burn the town and kill the people,
you'll feel better when you do.
Let's go to the grocery store,
Where all the grannies shop,
Pull out our machetes
And begin to chop!
Left, right, oh left, right, oh left, right, KILL!
Left, right, oh left, right, oh left, right, KILL!
Burn the town and kill the people,
you'll feel better when you do.
Burn the town and kill the people,
you'll feel better when you do.
Let's go to the playground,
Where all the kiddies play,
Lock and load our M-16s
And begin to slay!
Left, right, oh left, right, oh left, right, KILL!
Left, right, oh left, right, oh left, right, KILL!
Burn the town and kill the people,
you'll feel better when you do.
Burn the town and kill the people,
you'll feel better when you do.
This marching cadence, in all its variations, was a favorite of several cadence callers I knew over the years. As far as I can determine, it began as a popular song also, and may go back to at least the nineteenth century. A version of it was featured in one of the great John Wayne movies, John Ford's She Wore a Yellow Ribbon.
Around her hair, she wore a yellow ribbon,
She wore it in the springtime and the merry month of May.
And if you asked her why the heck she wore it,
She wore it for her soldier stationed far, far away.
Far away!
Oh, far away!
She wore it for her soldier stationed far, far away.
Around her neck, she wore a silver locket,
She wore it in the springtime and the merry month of May.
And if you asked her why the heck she wore it,
She wore it for her soldier stationed far, far away.
Far away!
Oh, far away!
She wore it for her soldier stationed far, far away.
Around her leg, she wore a purple garter,
[etc.]
On her night stand, she kept a soldier's portrait,
[etc.]
Around the block, she pushed a baby carriage,
[etc.]
Behind the door, her daddy kept a shotgun
He kept it in the springtime and the merry month of May.
And if you asked him why the heck he kept it,
He kept it so her soldier would stay far, far away.
Far away!
Oh, far away!
He kept it so her soldier would stay far, far away.
I wish all the ladies
I wish all the ladies
Were pies on a shelf,
And I was the baker,
I'd eat them all myself.
I wish all the ladies
Were Bats in a steeple,
And I was the king bat,
There'd be more bats than people.
I wish all the ladies
Were bricks in a pile,
And I was the mason,
I'd lay them all in style.
Chorus
Say, hey, Barbara Rheba,
Get down Barbara Rheba,
Say, hey, Barbara Rheba,
Take a toke, Barbara Rheba.
The sudden, inexplicable violence of the song says a great deal, I think, about the military mind-set. By the way, this is a favorite of my children, lyrics cleaned up of course!
A yellow bird, (response)
With a yellow bill, (response)
Was sitting on (response)
My window sill. (response)
A yellow bird, with a yellow bill, was sitting on my (CLAP or footstomp) window sill. (Sung by everyone at the same time.)
I lured him in
With a crust of bread
And then I smashed
His fucking head.
I lured him in with a crust of bread and then I smashed his (CLAP or footstomp) fucking head.
I scooped him up
I flushed him down
I watched him whirl 'round and 'round
I scooped him up, I flushed him down, I watched him whirl (CLAP or footstomp) 'round and 'round!
Count Cadence
This is one of my all-time favorites. The soldiers shout out the numbers in italics and the caller does the rest.
Count cadence
Delay cadence
Skip cadence
Count!
(one!) All you soldiers
(two!) You better do your best
(three!) Before you find yourself
(four!) In the leaning rest
(one!) Hit it
(two!) Kick it
(three!) Stab it
(four!) Kill it
(one, two ,three, four, one, two, three, four
We like it here
We love it here
Bullshit!!
A home
A home
We've finally found a home
A home
A home
A home away from home
Hey!
Blood Upon the Risers
This is a traditional Airborne song, going back to World War II. It is tradition to sing it before a trooper's first parachute jump.
Sung to the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic.
He was just a cherry trooper and he surely shook with fright
as he checked all his equipment and made sure his pack was tight
He had to sit and listen to the awful engines roar,
And he ain't gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a heck of a way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of a way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of a way to die
He ain't gonna jump no more.
"Is everybody happy?" cried the Sergeant, looking up.
Our hero feebly answered "yes," and then they stood him up.
He leaped right out into the blast, his static line unhooked.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a heck of a way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of a way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of a way to die
He ain't gonna jump no more.
He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock;
He felt the wind, he felt the clouds, he felt the awful drop;
He jerked his cord, the silk spilled out and wrapped around his legs.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
He ain't gonna jump no more.
The risers wrapped around his neck, connectors cracked his dome;
The lines were snarled and tied in knots, around his skinny bones;
The canopy became his shroud, he hurtled to the ground.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
He ain't gonna jump no more.
The days he'd lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind;
He thought about the girl back home, the one he'd left behind;
He thought about the medics and wondered what they'd find.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
He ain't gonna jump no more.
The ambulance was on the spot, the jeeps were running wild;
The medics jumped and screamed with glee, they rolled their sleeves and smiled;
For it had been a week or more since last a chute had failed.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
He ain't gonna jump no more.
He hit the ground, the sound was splat, his blood went spurting high;
His comrades were then heard to say, "A heck of way to die";
He lay there rolling 'round in the welter of his gore.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a heck of way to die
He ain't gonna jump no more.